joyce's posts with tag: mashito challenge
 The
alarm went off, and I jumped out of bed and headed to the bathroom. I
quickly showered, fixed a cup of coffee, grabbed a bagel, and was
dressing in a snap. I'm ready in no time at all, out of the door. No
more curling my hair before work every morning. This new, shorter style
gives me a few more minutes to sleep
One the way out of the house, I
checked the newspaper box for the paper. I snatched it, and went to
start the car so it could warm up while I was reading. and eating
breakfast. This is the routine. In order to stay ahead, I have to start
earlier. I have to be be on time for my new job. It's the job I have
wanted all these years. Publisher for the local newspaper. I checked
out the competition every day, trying to keep my edition innovative,
fresh, and interesting.
I forgot my cell phone, and had to run back
into the house. Once back in, the house phone rang. I let it ring,
because I knew it was the office calling. I'd deal with them when I got
there. I dashed for the door, locked it, and I'm gone.
On the way to
work, I put my make up on, in the mirror. I know it's a bad habit, but
try having to do ten things at once, and even when you're on time for
work, you're late. Today, I had to do what I would normally do in 10
hours, in seven. I had a date tonight. The regional manager of the
paper wants to meet with me about a special edition for Spring. I have
ideas, and she would like to hear them.
I found myself wondering
what she was like. I only talked to her on the phone a few times. She
sounded nice then...but, I would never......... At least, I don't think
I would.
Work was tough as usual, but the day was over now. Time
for a little leisure. She wanted to meet at the Bistro at 6:30
promptly. I had no time to spare, as I came home, and dressed in my
evening wear. A white spaghetti string dress, accentuated with pearls.
Pearls always make me look good. And feel good.
I walked in the
door, and looked around for a older black woman with salt & pepper
locks. She said she had a big smile, and would be wearing blue. I
spotted her at the bar, drinking something, and watching the news. I
gave her a once over, and slowly walked over to where she was sitting.
Sandra. Is that you?
"Hiiiiii Joyce. Nice to meet you. I've heard so much about you. Come join me. Or would you like to get a table now?"
We
can get a table, if you like. And, I'll take one of what you're having.
MMMMmmm. You smell great; what are you wearing? I followed her to a
table over in the corner, entranced already. I watched her walk, and
the motion of her behind as she moved to her seat. I wonder if she
is....ummmmmmm
"So. We have a lot to talk about. I have been
assigned to your paper, in an effort to enhance sales for the coming
Spring season. I will tell you what I've come up with, what I have seen
in other urban progressive papers, and we can compare any notes, and
ideas. I have to tell you from the start, that I am totally impressed
at your progress so far. It seems as if you spend alot of hours
working, and making your product something to be proud of. You rise to
the challenge of keeping up with the competition. Your workers feel
like you love your job."
Yes, I do. I live writing. I sleep
thinking of new ideas. I probably spend more time at work, than I do at
home. All my friends say I have no social life. I run back into the
office at all hours of the night, checking things out before the
morning edition hits the streets. Checking, and re-checking.
"No
special guy in your life? No one to create that balance between getting
the bills paid, and getting Mami laid? Hmmmmm. You know what they
say--all work, and no play......"
Honestly, I haven't met anyone
who is willing to put up with my "passion" for what I do, nor my crazy
hours of work. If I did get involved, it would be someone in the same
business as I'm in...someone who can take my obsession with working
until the job is done. You know....
"Yes. Very well. I, myself,
am sort of what you'd call a traveling salesman. I go to my jobs. I do
what needs to be done. I leave. They give me up to six assignments a
month. So, that leaves little time to "play". But I can see whoever
gets you is getting a working woman. Someone with a heart into their
work. I couldn't handle anything more than casual acquaintances. I'm on
the go too much, too. If I was a settle down kinda woman, I think I
wouldn't mind someone like yourself being the center of my attention"
I blushed. Was she coming on to me?
We
finished dinner, and talked about work the whole time. I tried not to
respond to her flirt earlier. But, it was all I could think of. I
watched her lips move as she correctly pronounced every word. My hands
massaged my legs, where I imagined hers to be, if we had been an item.
While she talked shop, I fantasized about being in her arms. But, I
managed to keep at least a portion of my brain on work.
"So,
tell me, what do you say we go back to your place, and listen to some
music? I promise to be whatever you want me to be. But, I do want to
get to know you better. Seems you have a bright head on yourself, and
we can see what we can do about your lonely nights. Everyone needs a
friend, don't you think?"
Ahhh, sure. We can do that. But, I
must warn you--my music selection stinks. Just a few cd's from the old
school era. I'm a contemporary kind of girl. I like simple music, and
instrumentals. And, relaxation music. I am so awkward at meeting new
people. They think it's a turn off when I say I'm not interested in
them outside of a friendship. I find relationships too hard. I am too
impatient at times, and I become irritated when someone just wants sex
from me...even without getting to know me first. But, I think I could
get to know you, and enjoy your company. Somehow, you seem different
than the rest
"There is something about people you have to
learn, in order to deal with them on their level: You cannot control
other people's emotions, but you can control your own. If you sense
yourself responding to their negativity, try not to let yourself. Keep
your heart open to them, and they may let go of their defensiveness and
yield to your compassion and openness......"
I guess you're
right. Matter of fact, I know you right. I think I'm gonna like you.
You're good for my emotional stability. Let's go.....
**Pic courtesy of Sistahpoet
 Walking slowly
into the morning breeze
doves flying overhead
The smell of excitement in the air
I stop for a moment
exhaling the fresh scents
the newness
serene atmosphere
I can't believe..I'm really here
It has taken me so long
to arrive here.
A place where I can just unwind.
If I could tell you what's been happening
since last year this time,
you would say,
my rest is well deserved.
I'm just loving the way the wind
tingles my skin,
assuring me
that I don't have some place to be,
or something that needs to be done..now.
Mentally,
I'm slowing my metabolism to a snail's pace.
Listening to my heart beat.
I never took a lot of time to notice it;
I just took it for granted that it would keep on beating...
keep on taking whatever life threw it's way.
When I'm real quiet,
and real still
I can even feel my pulse racing through me....
through my arms...my stomach...my legs...and my feet.
I am alive.
And wondrously made.
Looking through my dark shades
I got my eyes on this nice looking lady
who seems to be older than me
She is sitting on the deck,
with her eyes closed
Probably thinking the same thing I am...
What's her story?
Looks to be about.... hmmmm, early fifties.
About 5'6"...businesswoman.
I can tell by her laptop, cellphone, and briefcase.
Now, who would go on a vacation...to work?
SMH. Maybe she is getting paid
by the company to be out here.
Must be nice.
I notice no ring, but no one is with her.
I guess she could say the same thing about me. LOL.
Take away all the trappings of life
and we are all the same.
Just trying to make it through this life
doing the best we know how
with what He gave us to work with.
She notices me looking at her...
and smiles at me
I smile
The feel of the sun
beaming down on me,
refreshes me.
I feel like new life is radiating into me.
I just know whenever I get back,
things will be so different.
Tomorrow is always the answer
for today's worries
In it,
the answers always come
While I'm here
I will still get bills,
the house won't burn up,
the world won't end,
my son won't die of hinger,
nor will my sisters miss me.
well, not that much
They may think of me,
but that's it.
I just need to settle down,
relax
exhale
and enjoy me...
Enjoy my first vacation in years.
Why do you persist in following me across the web? I have told you there is no way I would have a relationship online. I don't care how much you see me comment on sites, or how much you send me these crazy ass messages. I have reported you for abuse, several times, and it's only a matter of time before they catch up with you. So, why don't you give it up. I am happily involved. Can't you get that through your head?..." This was the last message I sent to her. She stopped writing. I didn't see her comments anymore. Nothing. I thought it was over with. I breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe her ISP had been disabled, and she was reprimanded, legally. Either way, I got so tired of my friends asking me who was that asking about me, and asking them questions about me. I could only tell them, my 'stalker'
She went out of her way to go to my friends page, add them, and open a dialogue with them, and slowly introduce her relationship with me. Like she was my wife, or something. Yeah, she gave them details, like where I lived, where I went to college, my jobs. She even knew the car I drove, and my siblings names, and where they lived. So, my friends thought it was on the up and up. Thought I was just a player, because I hid her from them. She gained their pity, and a thorn in my side. Every page I went to, she would visit, coming back to tell me, that that woman I'm flirting with, is not available, and she would expose me as her woman if I didn't cease communications with her, immediately. She was bossy about it, too. Leaving messages on my side comments, like, "wasssup baby, talk to you when I get home", or, "remembering last night, and I still got chills". I erased them as soon as I saw them, but who knows who else saw them... She would write love poems on her page, and invite my established friends to her page, and 'tell them' she was writing for me. And, she hoped I loved it. SMH. She told me she would have me, and no bytch online could give me the love I was looking for, better than her. She always promised that she knew exactly what I needed. She sent me a file , which was a clip of her masturbating, while she was talking to me. Telling me what I had to look forward to.
I won't say it didn't turn me on, though. She talked that rough shyt like I like when I'm in the mix; telling me that once I got her--I wouldn't need anyone else. I watched her play with her nipples, pinching them so hard, it looked like it hurt. She used a vibrator, and a dildo when penetrating herself. And she'd gradually increase the speed of the vibrator while screaming my name, louder, and louder. She knew it fukked me up in the head. When she came, she would lick the dicks off like someone was licking a cake mix bowl, after mixing a cake. I could hear the slurping sounds too clear. I was mesmerized as she massaged her body, kinda like a kitten does when it's washing itself...and I had to turn away. She'd finish with, 'I love you baby, and one day, I'm gonna prove it'. Freaked me the Hell out.
Almost one month to the last time I heard from her, I got up early, before work, to sign on. I stumbled to the pc, with coffee in tow. Sat down to log on...jakuper20032000, *&^%$$##@....I am connected. I open my mail first. 300 new messages--WTH! This must be an error. How could I get that many messages, overnight? I didn't even think about that crazy fukka at all..until I opened the first one...an invitation to a party....
WHAT: AN ENGAGEMENT PARTY
WHEN: OCTOBER 12, 2006
WHERE: 1642 SKYLARK DRIVE
TIME: 7:30 PM
*bring only yourself, and an open mind. I've invited all your friends from every site, even your family
I wish this crazy ass bitch would just leave me alone. I opened up another message. An invitation. Another...and another. I opened 10 messages, and they were all invitations. I snapped. This has gone too far. She has already made my friends think I'm the worst liar, now she involving my family, and telling them we are getting engaged. When Hell freezes over. I copy one message, and report it as abuse, and tell them that I have 299 more in my in box. Then I am so mad, I just sign off. This will end tonight. I refuse to live my life in the shadows of someone who has no life, but to latch on, like a hermit, destroying another's life. I been warned about internet stalkers, but I never thought it would happen to me.
The phone rings as I'm getting in the shower, and I let the answering machine get it. After drying off, I check the message. It's my sister. "Hi girl. I didn't know things were that serious with TJ. So you really gonna do it this time, huh. Look forward to seeing you tonight. Me, and Rita gonna get you for not letting us in on the secret before now. I thought sisters are supposed to share everything. Check Ya, Girl. Can we bring our own drink" GRRRRRRR. This will never happen! I dress, and at 9am when the pawn shop opens, I will be there. I never shot anyone in my life, but if I I'm gonna have any peace, I have to do what I gotta do.
"Good Morning, Ma'am, what can I help you with today. We have some nice DVD players that just came in. Nice price, too." I'm looking for a small, powerful gun. I have been having break-in's in my apartment complex, and I need to be protected. I live alone. What do you have, that's clean , and reasonable? "This here is the Luger. A beauty for a fine female like yourself. It is a locked breech, magazine fed, semi-automatic pistol that when fired, stops your victim in their tracks. Let me sell it to you today. Only $150. A steal, just for you." I'll take it, and I'm gonna need some ammo; I'm hoping I won't have to use it, but, if it comes between me, and my life....BAM. You outta here. I finish my purchase, filling out papers, and leave.
I run a few more errands, have lunch by myself, thinking about tonight. I can't even eat. I pay my check, and leave. I drive around for a while, thinking, praying, hoping I don't have to kill this bytch; hoping it's all a silly game. But, I refuse to knuckle down to a psycho. I turn down Vine Street and just happen to look in my mirror, and who is this following me... I take another left on Southern, and they're still there. I try to speed up, making two more rights, and in my rear view mirror, they right there. Looks like a dude with a cap on. I won't take any chances. At the next light, I load my gun, just like the guy showed me. And, place it under my seat. I keep driving, and checking my mirror. Now, I know I'm not crazy.
I wink at him. They wink back. I lower my head, like I'm flirting, by nodding yes, it's okay to flirt with me. Still following me. I mean, about 15 blocks, no cops in sight. I'm getting worried now. I don't see anyone I know. My stomach starts to churn. I know this is a situation I got here. I just feel like this fool has found out where I live, and is following me. That would explain how they know what I got in my house, where I shop, the perfume I wear. Even where I pay my cell phone bill at. Okay, so what am I gonna do? I'm not gonna run anymore. Tired of going around and around, afraid to go back to my own house. Why wasn't I afraid before now? Why wasn't I more aware of what was going on around me? I will be more careful with giving out personal information online, to anyone from now on. Even though I think I trust these people, there could be some freak on my page, like this one, waiting to make me risk all I have for some sick ideas he has. No more personal information on my pages, I promise.
My heart is beating faster. I know something is about to happen.
I pull over to an empty General Dollar parking lot. They must open at 10, since no one is here. I wait. The car pulls in behind me, a few spaces back. I'm looking at them in my rear view mirror, smiling. They get out. I can tell by the walk, that it's a woman. She has stonewashed jeans on, a Braves baseball cap , and a white tee. With my name on it.. WHAT THE FUKK? It's her. She walks towards my car, smiling. I get my gun ready. She seems like she walking in slow motion, with that smirk on her face. I'm so frightened, I can feel my knees shaking. She leans over in the car, and whispers in my ear,"Let's go home, Baby. I'm gonna fuck you, like you never been fucked. You will be mine tonight. What she say that for? I lost all reasoning.
I didn't say a word. It was like everything happened in slow motion. She was laughing at me. You know how they make a laugh in slow motion in a movie. I could hear her eerie laughter so loud in my ear. I could see myself, reaching for my gun, pointing it at her face. And firing. Unloading the gun. All I could hear were shots firing, in my head. I placed the gun down beside me, and covered my ears. Her bloody body was laying on the ground. I saw people gathering around me, with frightened looks on their faces..afraid to speak. In the distance, I could hear sirens.
I fainted.......
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